Hidden In Silence
by Mishachan
Summary: A young, mute squirrelmaid struggles to find meaning in life and solve the conflict in her heart while trying to protect the ones who love her least
1. Silent Mistakes

It was the beginning of twilight. The faint glow of the sunset whispered across the treetops and touched the eyes of a young squirrel. Jellissa Lightpaw settled into the smooth niche of a branch and rested her eyes on the dark blue sky. She had missed the sunset, but its afterglow was just as beautiful. 

A cold voice from below interrupted her thoughts. "Jellissa! Miss Lightpaw, where are you??" 

Jellissa bounded swiftly down the trunk of the oak tree to a low branch. An old squirrelmaid, Salleaf, looked at her criticaly. 

"Honestly, Jellissa, if you keep wandering off, you're going to get lost. Now come to bed; we have to be ready for tomorrow." 

Jellissa took this is silence; what else could she do? It was ridiculous that any squirrel, especially Jellissa, would get lost in Mossflower, but she had an obligation to listen to the only squirrel who'd ever treated her like the real creature she was. Quickly Jellissa skittered to the ground and the small enclosed pond that served as a bath. The still water reflected the dim light of the stars. It also echoed her lanky form. Jellissa studied her image in the water for a moment before diving in. 

The next morning, Jellissa rose beore dawn, as usual, to watch the sun rise. She deftly scampered up the oak tree to her smooth branch. The sun was barely a sliver above the mountains when Jellissa's unusually sharp ears picked up the sound of commotion at the forest floor. That was odd. None of the tribe should be awake yet, should they? 

The group below seemed to be leaving as their voices became quieter and quieter. As the patter of squirrelpaws vanished, it dawned on her. The feast at Redwall! She'd completely forgotten! 

Urgently Jellissa leaped from tree to tree westward, following the other squirrels. When the sound of their running footpaws sounded like they were directly below her, she leaped downward into the cover of the forest. The fall was exhilarating, but it ended quickly, Jellissa landed running at the front of the group of squirrels. A light-furred, beautiful squirrel squeaked in surprise, 

"Well hello there!" Jellissa recognized her voice; it was Oakleaf, the queen of their small tribe. Abashedly, Jellissa slowed down so that she could disappear into the crowd, but Oakleaf spoke again. 

"I know you, don't I? You're the one that always climbs to the top of the tree in the morning. What's your name?" The queen's voice was soft and young-sounding. It made Jellissa flinch as a pang of jealousy raced through her. She shook her head, remaining silent. How could she tell Oakleaf her name? But names wouldn't matter if the queen knew who she really was. 

"Come now, don't be shy. I know I probably should know your name already, but..." Oakleaf trailed off hopefuly. Again Jellissa shook her head. She wanted to disappear, but didn't want the queen to think the wrong thing. 

A loud voice erupted from the crowd, directed at Jellissa. "Whatsa matter? Wildcat gotcha tongue?" She recognized this voice as well. It was full of a familiar spite that made Jellissa flinch again. The source of the voice was Driptail, a pretty young squirrelmaid. She smirked at Jellissa and looked at the queen knowingly. 

"Dint ya know, Majesty? J'lissa hasn't a voice, the poor dear." 

Jellissa refrained from growling savagely at Driptail. It wouldn't heighten her reputation, nor would it scare the squirrelmaid. Instead she contented herself with thinking crude and angry thoughts. Driptail deserved having a name like 'Driptail.' 'Poor dear,' indeed. 

"Oh..." The queen looked distinctly uncomfortable. "You're Jellissa. I see." 

Jellissa nodded shortly and took the chance to slow down and vanish in the sea of squirrels that were moving quickly westward. 

Even the queen didn't have enough dexterity to act comfortable around a mute. What kind of tribe had a creampuff for a queen? 

Immediately Jellissa took the thought back. It wasn't the tribe's fault that they didn't know how to deal with her. Nor was it Oakleaf's fault that her tribe was cold and callous. Jellissa tried to forget about it and to look forward to the feast. It was her first feast at Redwall. Whenever she had been invited before, Jellissa would disappear, alone, into the forest. All the noise, people, and music intimidated her. 

Yet she had decided to go this time. She had nothing to lose, and it just might be fun. Her father used to enjoy feasts at the abbey... 

As one, the group of squirrels stopped at the abbeygates. A rough old mouse's face appeared above them. 

"Who goes there?" he called as if he didn't already know. 

"Vermin and pirates!" Oakleaf responded laughingly. 

"I guess I'll have to let you in, then," the old mouse said relentingly, and vanished behind the wall. A moment later the gates swung open heavily, and the squirrels were welcomed inside. 

Jellissa looked around, detached from the socializing. All over, squirrels were chatting, laughing, and ambrecing the Redwallers. Old friendship were being renewed all around her. 

She'd visited the abbey often as a young dibbun, but slowly stopped as she grew old enough to realize that she was not welcome there. The 'true Redwall spirit,' as they called it, seemed to be absent within her. 

She saw many faces she recognized, but no one stepped forward in a happy greeting. Pushing away the bitter feelings, she told herself that she understood them. It was reasonable. How could you trust someone you couldn't talk to? How would you get to know them or love them? 

The crowd of squirrels and abbeybeasts slowly moved toward the dining hall. Jellissa followed, her silence unnoticed in the laughter and noise. 

In the dining hall, Jellissa was placed next to a young hedgehog, who immediately grew nervous. He looked afraid of her, and she hadn't even had a chance to not speak! Sighing, Jellissa looked away. She guessed that even her face was repellant. 

The Redwall blessing was sung, then everybeast dug in. The conversations nearby washed over her as she nibbled at hazelnut cheese and candied chestnuts. 

"Hey, now," The booming voice of a hare was speaking to Jellissa. "Y'eat like a bird! C'mon, lassie, eat more or ye'll hurt the cooks's feelin's, wot wot!" 

Jellissa, trying her best to become invisible, nodded and took a sample of damson pudding and strawberry fiz. 

"I daresay, you're a shy li'l gel." The hare leaned down to look at her. "Wot's your name?" 

Jellissa shook her head. How could she get out of this? She looked up, straight into the hare's eyes, to show that she wasn't shy. The hare looked back at her, baffled. 

"Ye don't seem too bashful, me furry gel. Why don't ye grace us all with a song, wot?" 

What?? This idiotic hare! Jellissa could hear Driptail snickering nearby. Hopelessly she looked around. The creatures around her were looking at her expectantly. Jellissa sighed sadly. Yes, it had been a mistake to come. Slowly she pusehd away from her seat and started to walk away. Before she left the room, she heard the hare say in confused brass, 

"Strangest thing I ever saw, wot! Can't tell whether she was stupid or just plain rude!" 

Jellissa made her way over to the abbey pond. The brisk morning breeze rippled the water so no reflection was discernable. She was grateful for that - she didn't want to see what the Redwallers saw: a thin, lanky squirrel with long whiskers and strange, empty eyes. Couple that with her inability to speak, and it faced any good abbeybeast with a fear of the unknown. 


	2. Silent Comfort

**Chapter Two   
Silent Comfort**

As Jellisa sat brooding at the edge of the pond, a large shape approached her from behind. She didn't notice the large otter until he sat down beside her and made her start. She looked up at him warily. His brown eyes were looking out over the pond, but after a moment he looked down at her. 

He was a massive otter. His arms and legs rippled with muscle; he looked as if he were a great warrior. His eyes were soft and gentle, however, and they calmed Jellissa's nerves somewhat. 

"Hey there." His voice was deep and soothing. "I noticed that the party didn't agree with you too well." 

Jellissa nodded, and he continued, "S'okay. I'm not quite used to all of these happy people yet, and it's been two whole seasons." 

Jellissa watched him closely. He seemed like a nice otter, but what was he doing? It wasn't like she was capable of intelligent conversation. 

"The name's Deyna." He held out a huge paw, and Jellissa shook it tentatively. He seemed not to notice her silence; either that or he already knew she was mute. But why then would he be talking to her? 

"Y'know, this place is nice, but it's not like the traveling life I grew up in," Deyna said, gazing around at the abbey. "I'm sure you can relate, right? Y'dont' look to be an abbeybeast." 

Jellissa nodded in confirmation, still looking up at him steadily. He met her eyes and smiled softly. He had a nice smile; it was strong and comforting. Jellissa looked away and faintly shook her head in wonder. She actually felt comfortable in a creature's company! Relishing in the new experience, she looked back up at him and smiled. 

"You're Jellissa, aren't ya?" he asked kindly. Jellissa nodded hesitantly. So he did know who she was. It didn't seem to phase him; he nodded and said, 

"They were talking about you in there." He motioned toward the dining hall. "The pore creatures don't really know ya." 

Jellissa shrugged. Deyna didn't really know her either; no one did. No one could. 

The sound of approaching voices made Jellissa alert. She looked toward the feast and saw two squirrels coming out of the dining hall. Vaguely Jellissa recognized one of them; she crept backwards and bounded up a tree. Deyna watched her curiously, then directed his attention to the two squirrels. One of them, a beautiful squirrelmaid, had apparently seen Jellissa. 

"Who was that, Deyna?" Jellissa faintly heard her ask. 

"Why don'tcha go and see?" Deyna suggested, and pointed at the tree Jellissa was in. The squirrelmaid nodded in understanding and bounded towards it. Jellissa watched her come with a sense of foreboding. She was beautiful; the prettiest squirrel Jellissa had ever seen. No wonder the squirrel she had been with watched her longingly. 

In an instant, the squirrelmaid was up the tree. She caught sight of Jellissa and smiled. 

"Hello there!" Drawing closer, she introduced herself. "My name's Fwirl. What's yours?" 

No! Would people stop asking that infernal question? Jellissa, my name is Jellissa; I'm a defected squirrel of Mossflower, just leave me alone! 

Fwirl paused, a bit intimidated by Jellissa's silence. "C'mon, don't be shy." 

Jellissa shook her head and climbed to a higher branch that was devoid of leaves. THe light wind carried the voices of Deyna and the other squirrel to her sensitive ears. 

"Now, Broggle," Deyna was saying, "You can do without Fwirl for a few minutes. Jellissa needs a friend." 

"So do I," Broggle muttered. A moment later he said, "But I guess you're right. Fwirl has that kind heart anyway. She'd befriend even the lowliest of creatures." 

"Jellissa's not a lowly creature," Deyna said in a defensive tone. "Just because she can't talk..." 

"I know, I know," Broggle said, sounding as if he didn't know at all. "But not just that. The poor gel is the most unattractive squirrel I've ever seen. Contrast her with Fwirl, and..." he trailed off as Deyna said a bit angrily, 

"What's wrong with your eyes, Broggle? Jellissa's a beautiful creature!" 

Jellissa's breath caught in her throat, and she almost fell off her branch. Were her ears decieving her? Beautiful? She'd never been beautiful! Was Deyna just saying that to be nice? But he didn't know she was listening, did he? 

Jellissa slowly realized that Fwirl was standing next to her, watching her. Jellissa blinked, wondering briefly what she was doing there. Broggle's voice floated from below, 

"Uh...right, of course she's beautiful, Deyna. I just meant that she's not beautiful to other...I mean..." 

"Hey, um...why don't you come back to the feast with us?" Fwirl was looking at Jellissa with a kind smile. Jellissa returned her attention to the squirrelmaid and shook her head, smiling sadly. Thanks anyway, but I don't belong there. 

Fwirl looked slightly hurt but she nodded. "Okay, well, see ya later, whatever-your-name-is." She bounded down the tree and over to Broggle. Jellissa watched them talk briefly, then the two squirrels walked away. Deyna remained, and looked up at Jellissa expectantly. Jellissa watched him for a moment before leaping in the opposite direction and disappearing over the walls of the abbey. 


	3. Silent Surprise

Chapter Three   
Silent Surprise 

The dark leaves surrounded Jellissa with a comforting embrace. She rested in the hollow of a tree, curled up in a furry ball. It was easier to think here, hidden in the trees where no one could see her. Yes, this was a much more comfortable place than the abbey. The otter Deyna had made her feel comfortable, yes, but only for a short while. Then Broggle had come along. 

Jellissa had known Broggle when she had been younger. He was part of the group of dibbuns that Jellisa had always taggged along with. Oen day she had been pulled into the desire to be an adult with a game of spin-the-bottle. She was naive then and did not realize how much of a social outcast she was. When it came to her turn, the bottle had pointed to Broggle. She looked at him with premature disgust. She had to kiss the fat, stuttering boy? No way! She had refused. 

Looking back now, Jellissa could see how humiliating that must have been for him. Nobody else had been rejected, yet he'd been rejected by the reject! Now there was an eternal rift created those six season ago, crossed only by awkward silences. 

But now he had found someone. The beautiful Fwirl had bounded into his life; it was obvious. For a brief moment Jellissa wondered if anyone would come into her life in the same way. Instantly she berated herself. She had learned long ago that thoughts like that only led to depression. She could accept the fact that she wouldn't meet anyone special; why brood on it? 

A sudden rustling noise made Jellissa look up sharply. Immediately her face was surrounded by black and brown fur. She gasped and pushed away from a creature that was sprawling and breathing noisily. 

"Aagh!" the shape gasped. "Why are they chasing me? Who are you?" 

Jellissa only saw two bright black eyes before the creature vanished into the trees. 

There was only a moment of quiet, then the sound of trampling feet filled her ears. She darted into the bushes and froze there. A large group of rats, weasels, stoats, and ferrets burst upon the clearing where Jellissa had been. They were fierce, ugly, and mangled. Jellissa could hardly breath from fear. It looked like an evil horde from one of her history books. But so close to Redwall? 

Redwall... 

Without a thought, Jellissa turned tail and ran like lightning back to the Abbey. 

----- 

The squirrelmaid Fwirl was enjoying the company she was with. Broggle stood on one side, Mhera on the other. The feast was winding down, and all activity was comprised of talking, joking, or singing. Soemone nearby cracked a joke, and Fwirl was in mid-laugh when the door swung open aruptly All eyes in the dining hall turned to the figure in the doorway, who flinched slightly. As the creature stepped forward, Fwirl recognized the squirrel that had been talkin with Deyna. He had mentioned her name... was it Melissa? No... Jellissa, that was it! 

Jellissa's eyes were frantic; her gaze darted back and forth like a hunted creature. Still she was silent. Why? 

Deyna stepped towards Jellissa worriedly. "Jellissa, what is it?' 

With a helpless expression, Jellissa looked up at Deyna. There was a moment of suspened silence. Fwirl could no longer bear it. 

"Well?" she said. Her impatient tone rang softly throughout the whole room. 

Now all eyes turned about her. Most were disapproving, and Fwirl took a step back warily, looking at Jellissa. Deyna had seemed not to hear Fwirl's question as he asked Jellissa, 

"Did you see something?' 

The lean squirrelmaid nodded, and pulled at Deyna's paw. He followed her out of the room, and most of the feasters did too. Fwirl stayed there; she had a question. 

"Mother Abbess," Fwirl addressed Mhera, "why didn't she say anything?" 

Mhera looked at her apologetically. "Jellissa cannot speak. She is a mute, Fwirl. I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier.." 

"Oh." Fwirl was struck by a feeling of guilt. She had tried to make Jellissa speak twice without even knowing she couldn't. Fwirl looked at Broggle and asked accusingly, "Why didn't you tell me?" 

Broggle shrugged, trying to show that he wasn't affected. "You never asked." 

Fwirl sighed and was about to follow the crowd outside when Deyna came rushing back in. 

"Mhera! A band of vermin is heading this way!" 

The creatures in the dining hall panicked. They started crowding around Mhera anxiously, talking and jelling. 

"Quiet down!" the ottermaid shouted. "Have you lost your senses? We don't even know if they're hostile." 

"Yes we do!" a voice called. 

"Yeah; all vermin are!" another shouted. 

"No, no, of course not," said Mhera soothingly. "We must excercise tolerance..." 

Fwirl let Mhera lecture the fightened abbeybeasts and looked around. Deyna stood in the doorway, next to Jellissa, who seemed almost invisible. Quickly Fwirl scampered over to her. Jellissa watched her with those strange eyes. 

"Hey... Jellissa, I'm sorry about earlier. Nobody told me..." she trailed off and let it hang. Jellissa didn't respond, just nodded and kept watching her. Fwirl was at a standstill, frozen. She had never been good at dealing with people, and she had never thought that a situation like this would ever arise. 

"Well...um.." she stammered at last. "Thank you for finding the vermin horde.." 

Jellissa didn't even nod this time. Fwirl's entire being was crying at her, pulling her to just leave, to be out of this awkward silence. So she did. With a nod to Jellissa she walked slowly as fast as she could back over to Mhera and out of Jellissa's sight. 

Fwirl could feel the unfamiliar stirrings of bitterness within her. Frightened, she tried to push them away. She was a good creature; she'd always been kind and gentle and loving to everyone. But there was something about this squirrelmaid that made her foul-tempered and unhappy. Again she tried to push it away and ignore it by listening to Mhera. 

"Let's just go out and talk to them," the Abbess was saying. "They cannot hurt us if we are inside Redwall, and no harm ever came from talking." 

The crowd was nearly calmed now, and they nodded in agreement. Mhera started moving away from the crowd and to the door of the dining hall. The rest of the abbeybeasts followed her, murmuring with tension in their voices. 

Fwirl followed behind, the very last one to leave the hall. She could also feel tension in the air, but it was not from the vermin horde outside the walls. She knew she should be worried about the welfare and peace of the abbey, but all she could do was watch Jellissa, at the front of the crowd, with vague apprehension. 


	4. Silent Danger

Chapter Four   
Silent Danger 

Jellissa stood on top of the abbey wall with Deyna and Mhera, looking down. A group of about one hundred vermin stood there, looking up at them. Jellissa felt the weight of a hundred eyes pressing on her, but she resisted them and didn't move. 

"Hello there!" Mhera called out to the shifting crowd. "How can we help you?" 

A fox stepped forward. His fur was pure black, and it seemed to destroy all light from the afternoon sun. 

"Gentlebeasts!" he called in a suave but stern voice. "We have journeyed for many leagues, and are weary. Please let us take refuge in the hallowed walls of this abbey!" 

Immediately Jellissa's distrust grew. She had long since learned that words did not make a creature, and this fox had a tongue like honey. His posture and eyes, though, both betrayed a guilty conscience. Jellissa looked at Mhera, her eyes begging her to distrust the fox as well. Mhera caught Jellissa's gaze and nodded lightly before calling, 

"I'm afraid that there is not enough room. There are already many creatures that dwell here." 

The fox remained silent for a long while, murmuring back and forth with the rats around him. Finally he shouted, 

"Is there any other place we can take refuge?" 

"The weather is good!" Mhera shouted back. "And the forest is friendly to those who do not attempt to harm it. We can give you some food if you like!" 

The fox nodded sharply to them and turned to addrss his troops. Mhera turned to Deyna and Jellissa. 

"Alright... they don't seem about to attack, so we might as well trust them until they're proven untrustworthy. Will you two take food out to them?" 

"Sure, sis." Deyna smiled at Mhera. Jellissa jumped slightly. She hadn't known that they were brother and sister. 

"What about you, Jellissa?" Mhera looked at her. "You don't have to... I mean, you don't even live here..." 

Jellissa felt herself nod firmly, then wondered at herself as Mhera smiled and said, 

"Great." She looked down at the abbeybeasts. "We'll need five large baskets of food. Try to get enough to give one hundred creatures a snack." 

"We're FEEDING them??" a mouse cried out incredulously. 

"Yes. They mean no harm to us, I think, and I won't turn down anybeast if they are hungry." This seemed to satisfy the mouse somewhat as he and several others left for the kitches. 

--------- 

Jellissa and Deyna both recieved baskets of food, loaded upon them by the cooks. As they stood waiting while the abbey gate opened, Jellissa looked up at Deyna. He smiled at her reassuringly. Jellissa barely smiled back and focused her attention on the opening door. 

She tried to think. There was something the fox wasn't saying. Hadn't they been chasing somebeast? Where did he go, anyway? 

The doors finally were wide enough to let Jellissa and Deyna through. They went slowly, carrying the baskets. The black fox came to greet them witha few of his henchmen. 

"I thank you, good abbeybeasts." 

"You are welcome, sir," said Deyna confidentally. "Where are you and your band headed to?" 

"We don't quite know yet," the fox said smoothly. "We're sailors by trade, but our ships were destroyed in a storm, y'see. We lost most of our crew, and are looking for a place to build more ships." 

"Well, if you're thinking of going back to the ocean, it's westward, if that helps any." 

The handsome fox bowed. "Again, you have my thanks." 

Deyna nodded and turned to go, but Jellissa stayed where she was, watching the fox. 

This was a horde, and actual vermin horde, like the one that killed her father. Mhera was going to let them just walk away? And yet, what if this band was the a 'good' one? What if they were innocent? 

Jellissa slowly noticed the fox. He was watching her. She met his gaze evenly, but saw something in his eyes that made her shiver. This fox certainly was not innocent. And he had something on his mind. 

"Heya, sweet squirrel, yer gonna stay wid' us?" a mangy-looking weasel said with a laugh. Jellissa looked around and saw that Deyna was halfway back to the abbey. He hadn't noticed that she wasn't behind him. She started to follow, but a rat caught her wrist. 

"Why don'tcher stay?" he asked with a nasty grin. Jellissa pulled her paw away but another rat grabbed it. 

"Yeah, c'mon!" 

Jellissa started to panic. These vermin were far stronger than her What did they want? Just leave me alone! 

The black fox stepped forward. His blade whipped through the air, and suddenly the rat let go of her wrist, his fingers bleeding. He shrank away, whimpering. The fox leaned down to meet Jellissa's eyes levelly. He smiled, but his eyes were dark and frightening. 

"My apologies, ladysquirrel. My men need to be," he sheathed his sword, "disciplined." 

Jellissa could hardly breathe. The fox's eyes burned into her like the sun into wax. Jellissa tore herself away and dashed over to Deyna. They entered Redwall, but Jellissa could still feel the pressure of the fox's eyes on her back. 


	5. Silent Regret

_My gosh, I am SOOO sorry. I completely blew this chapter off! What a goose I am. No offense to geese, of course.   
Thanks for reading and reviewing! It really helps when I'm an airhead like this. ^___^()_

Chapter Five   
**Silent Regret**

Jellissa woke to the sound of someone screaming. She tumbled out of her bed and looked around frantically. She was in a dorm room of the abbey. Other squirrels from her tribe had awakened as well and were trying to wake up and get control of the situation. Soon the whole room was filled with squirrel voices. Jellissa sighed and slipped out the door. This was no time to be slowed by heedless noises. She bounded down the stairs and into the common room. A good number of creatures were bustling back and forth, fear in their eyes. Jellisa looked around quickly. She saw Deyna by the fire. Quickly she darted over to him and laid a paw on his arm. He looked down at her but didn't seem to see her for a few seconds. After a moment he recognized the questioning look in her eyes and said softly, 

"That band of villains... one of them got in here and tried to kill Mhera..." 

Jellissa had expected something like this. She growled softly and patted Deyna's arm encouragingly. He smiled weakly. 

"She's okay," he said, "But the nurse won't let us see her." 

Jellissa nodded understandingly and lowered her paw. She felt restless, like there was something she should be doing. Maybe something like fighting... 

Struck with a sudden idea, Jellissa backed away from Deyna and started boudning toward the door. 

Deyna caught her paw before she could go. "Where are you going, Jellissa?" 

Jellissa pulled her hand away and darted through the scrambling animals toward the door. She burst out into the dark night. The air was crisp and felt light on her fur. Looking up, she saw a few hares and squirrels at the top of the walls bordering Redwall Abbey. 

"Jellissa!" 

Glancing back, she saw Deyna following her. Quickly she bounded toward the gatehouse. She could hear Deyna behind her though the dark. 

As she reached the gate, she saw what she was looking for; a bow and quiver. Quickly she snatched them up and dashed up the stairs to the wall. 

When she reached the top, her eyes scoured the surrounding grounds for any vermin. They must have left when they wre caught, Jellissa thought. 

Suddenly she felt the large weight of a paw on her shoulder. 

"They're gone," Deyna said. Jellissa nodded but her mind was still racing. What motivation did she have for going after the vermin? It was Deyna's sister that had been hurt, not Deyna himself... but Deyna had been hurt... and he had said that she was beautiful. It was repayment, in a way. 

Before the big otter could react, Jellissa leapt from the wall and landed heavily on a tree branch. Scrambling to the top of the tree, she saw the light of torches burning in the distance. Determined, Jellissa followed them, jumping fluidly from tree to tree. 

--------

Fwirl paced restlessly back and forth outside the sick room door. 

"Those idiots," she murmured to herself. "That idiot. Broggle, why did you have to go with them? Why didn't you stay with me?" Sighing, she looked anxiously out the winodw. It was still dark outside, the kind of heavy dark just before dawn that weighed on her mind like an anvil. 

The dark was not the only thing weighing on her mind. The spur-of-the-moment decision made by Broggle, Skipper, and a few other otters and squirrels disturbed her. She loved Mhera as much as anyone, but the creatures of Redwall were supposed to be peace-loving, weren't they? Vengeance wasn't a value that was taught at the Abbey. 

Heavy footsteps turned her attention to the stairwell. Deyna appeared there, looking tired. He peered anxiously at Fwirl. 

"Anything new?" he asked her. 

She shook her head. "The door hasn't opened." She sat down at the windowsill, where Deyna joined her. "Were you able to get the group back?" 

"No." He shook his head. "They're gone," he said for the second time that night, but not of the same creatures. After a pause, he said slowly, "Jellissa's gone too." 

"What?" Fwirl looked at him. "She didn't go with them, did she?" 

"No. She went alone," he said with strain in his voice. 

"Why?" 

Deyna looked out the window. The sky was tinted with what looked like grey dust. It made Deyna's eyes heavy; he shook his head and closed his eyes. 

Fwirl was troubled by his silence Was he that worried about Jellissa? But hadn't they just met yesterday? Plus, she could take care of herself. 

"Why did Broggle and the others go? What do they want to accomplish?" she said softly. 

Deyna opened his eyes and looked at her. "They were angry. They want some sort of rectification for Mhera's sake." 

"But... they are peaceful creatures, aren't they? Not bloodthirsty beasts..." 

"It's much more common than you might think," Deyna murmured quietly. "I saw it all the time growing up." 

Fwirl was about to quietly accept this when she remembered with shock where Deyna had grown up: in the bedraggled and immoral midst of a vermin horde. 

Fwirl could feel her faith crumpling inside her. How could the abbeybeasts be better than the vermin if they succumbed to the same desire for revenge? 

Sighing, Fwirl laid her head against the glass and gazed out, unseeing , into the dusky dawn. Quietly she whispered to the dank air, 

"Broggle..." 


	6. Silent Apology

Chapter Six   
**Silent Apology**

Under the filtering sun's rays, Jellissa sighed in disappointment. She sat in a circle with some squirrels and otters, quietly nibbling on an oatcake. 

She had gone toward their torches in the dark, thinking that it had been the band of vermin. The Redwallers were surprised that she was there, but they invited her to go with them after the vermin horde. Jellissa agreed, but now she was havning doubts. Her presence was a source of awkwardness among the creatures, not helped by Broggle's obvious silence when he was around her. 

She'd learned from Skipper that the group was angry for the assault on Mhera and they wanted to punish the beasts responsible. Jellissa approved of their plans, but looking at at these peaceful creatures, didn't think that they would succeed. They knew nothing of surviving on their own, outside of the Abbey. 

Skipper seemed to have that idea as well. As they paused for breafast, the big otter had taken a few youths and thad them practice with their slings and bows and arrows. 

Jellissa finished her oatcake and glanced up at the rest of the circle. She saw a few eyes look quickly away that had been watching her. Sighing again, she got to her paws and dusted the crumbs from her fur . Slowly she started to go to the small stream that was nearby, but Broggle's voice stopped her. 

"Hey, Jellissa, wait," he called from a tree. She waited, watching as the chubby squirrel bounded down and came over to her . Again she turned and headed for the stream. Broggle walked next to her quietly. 

After a moment, he said, "You know, Jellissa, I've never liked you. You're so different, it's like something foreign, an'..." he glanced at her, "But I guess you don't need me to tell you that." He paused for a moment. Jellissa kept listening, and soon he continued, 

"I was also resentful that you couldn't talk. It seemed so much more pleasant to the grown-ups than my stuttering." 

Jellissa stopped walking and sat down on the bank of the stream. Ginegerly Broggle sat down next to her. 

"...But that stuff's all just water under the bridge. We're the grownups now, right, and I've needed to shape up for a long time." His tone grew lighter as he said, "Meeting Fwirl was the best thing that has ever happened to me, even better than when my stuttering was cured. She seemed to look at me and see the squirrel I could become instead of the squirrel I was. So I started chaning into who she saw, and I've been discovering myself and getting wiser and getting to know Fwirl beterr..." He looked at her. "I'm sorry, Jellissa. I've been really mean to you.. I'm sorry." 

Jellissa studied him for a moment. His eyes were sincere; she could see no trace of mockery. Hesitantly she held out her paw and smiled slightly. Broggle smiled and shook her paw, visibly relieved. Lowering her paw, Jellissa slipped into the water. Broggle watched her. She saw something akin to warmth in his eyes, but she knew it would soon pass. Not wanting to wear him out with her awkward silence, she ducked under the water and started to swim upstream. She knew that her departure was abrupt, but she was a mute. He would understand. 

---------- 

The group of Redwallers had been following the tracks of the vermin horde all day. They had been going at too slow of a pace for Jellissa. Now she lay asleep in the leaves of a tree, but she was still restless. 

Something pulled her away from the realm of sleep. Blinking, she looked around at the moonlit trees. There were some creatures gathered around the small campfire below. She didn't recognize weither Skipper or Broggle among them. Curiously, she leaped to a tree above them where she could hear their voices. To her surprise, they were talking about her. 

"That Jellissa creeps me out," an otter was saying. "'Snot natural that she can't talk." 

"Yeah," a squirrel said. "And she's weird-looking: more like a weasel or a ferret than one of us squirrels." 

'She should just take her big bow 'n arrows and leave. I can't concentrate on anything when she's around." 

Jellissa sighed and went back to her tree, where she picked up her bow and quiver. Perhaps Broggle had finally accepted her, but these creatures didn't seem about to welcome her. Perhaps she was still better off alone. Perhaps it would always be that way. 


End file.
